Lions and Tigers and Zombies, oh my.

I would like to think that Pennsylvania would be the state to think of a bill to protect America from zombies:

P.S. Apparently this video’s been fooling some people. Don’t be alarmed, it’s from The Onion.

 

Dear Tea Party,

Please start googling things before you go public with them. First you made me have to explain to my mother what a “teabagger” is (I will never forgive you for that, by the way). Now you’re stealing slogans from 4chan?

Come on, guys. Research is your friend.

 

UPenn is the 9th best hospital in America

According to this list of 2010-11 Best Hospitals rankings.

 

Some links to make work a little better…

The Smoking Gun has a collection of stories of New Jersey Turnpike workers going crazy…

An Atlantic City woman’s life is saved when her fat stops a bullet.

See, Philly? Not every flash mob has to be violent. Some can be fantastic and nerdy.

55 bad unicorn tattoos.

Speaking of unicorns, here’s some fantastic, nerdy My Little Pony mods.

 

Speaking of sci fi…

I’m a day late and a dollar short on this one, but hopefully all you Philly geeks out there got to enjoy the Vader Project while it was in town. The auction featured different artists creating their version of the iconic Darth Vader helmet. It’s over now, but the pictures on the website are worth a look.

 

Metropolis re-release

Fans of old cinema should rejoice, as Fritz Lang’s classic 1927 film Metropolis is being re-released in theaters this year.

I for one am very excited about this. I remember the first time I ever saw this movie. My mother had bought it on DVD – one of the first my family owned – and I, a jaded pre-teen, had complained about having to watch a subtitled black and white silent movie.

Within ten minutes my jaw was on the floor. Go see this movie. It is not only visually stunning – I’d say it can still hold its own when compared to modern films – but it is one of the greatest science fiction stories ever made.

It will get to Philadelphia on July 23rd, at the Landmark Ritz at the Bourse.

 

Philadelphia: Not America’s Drunkest City

This is a bit of old news I just found, but Men’s Health magazine published a list of the drunkest cities in America back in March. The list was compiled by looking at statistics of all the negative things associated with drinking – specifically “rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-fueled car crashes, frequency of binge-drinking in the past month, number of DUI arrests, and severity of DUI penalties.”

Philadelphia comes in at #89 out of 100 (making us less drunk than Pittsburgh, which ranked #59).

Well done, Philadelphia! I think coming in that low deserves a round of applause. Or, perhaps, a beer.

 

Philly Ukulele Jam

If you need further reason to learn to play, this exists.

For all you ukulele players out there – yesterday marked the first Ukulele Jam session in Rittenhouse Square. I can’t find a website to confirm this, but City Paper promises that there are going to be future jam sessions every second Sunday of the month.

The event is free, and all instruments are welcome to participate.

You can buy the sweet Spongebob ukulele here.

 

March Madness 2010

It’s been fairly well-documented on this blog that I know little to nothing about sports. Last year around this time I hosted Philly Lush’s March Madness. I wanted to do something like that again, but unfortunately my hiatus from writing ended right as March started, so I wasn’t able to plan anything big for this year.

Today I was reading The Metro‘s article on different ways one could fill out the official March Madness bracket. One option was to do it while drunk on St. Patrick’s Day, but that seemed too cliché for me. Another option they gave was to fill it out based on which team’s mascot would win in a fight.

Challenge accepted, Metro.

So, below I present to you Philly Lush’s Mascot Cage Match.

For the first round, I used a panel of experts also known as “whoever happened to be online when I decided to do this” (why should I lie to you?) to help me decide the winners. Feel free to comment to vote on what you think the outcome of future battles should be.

And please, if we offend your mascot, try not to take it too seriously.

Round 1, Midwest:

Kansas Jay Bird vs. Lehigh Mountain Hawk.

I wish we didn’t have to start out with something so clearly one-sided, especially since I love rooting for the underdog (speaking of dogs, have you realized how many schools have bulldogs and cougars as their mascot? At least these two colleges get points for originality). Unfortunately, I think the Mountain Hawk could rip the Jay Bird to shreds.

UNLV “Rebel” vs. Northern Iowa Panther

This was a tough one. A human (a pretty badass looking human) versus something out of nightmares. The Rebel probably could take care of himself, though he is at a disadvantage since I can’t find a picture of him armed (that moustache may be able to kill something though…). I’m going to go with panelist Leo’s gut instinct on this one though: “Panther. Rebels have guns, but panthers have stealth.”

Michigan State “Sparty” vs. New Mexico State “Aggie”

I am a patriotic American, but this fight seems about as unfair as the Jay Bird verses the Mountain Hawk. Apparently there’s been some controversy over Pistol Pete having his guns replaced with a lasso in 2005, but even with guns I’m not sure a cowboy could take out a Spartan. Especially not one named “Buffest Mascot” by Muscle and Fitness Magazine.

Maryland’s “Testudo the Turtle” vs. Houston’s “Shasta the Cougar”

At first glance, this seems like an unfair matchup. I’ll admit that when I first googled what Maryland’s mascot was, my initial reaction was “aww, he’s going to die.” This would be especially true two decades ago, when Shasta was an actual cougar! Seriously. Still, everyone polled voted for the turtle, and Leo once again backed up his decision with sound(?) logic: “turtles would have great defense and simply wait out the cougar, who would get bored and leave.  Gotta go with Testudo the Terrapin on this one.”

Tennessee “Smokey the dog” vs. San Diego State Aztecs

Smokey is a bluetick coonhound, which does give it certain biological advantages, like muscles and speed. Unfortunately, they are also “the breed least likely to be aggressive to people.” Even if Smokey struck first, the Aztec warrior is “the most feared in Aztec society,” whose life was “one of constant battle.” I think the Aztec has it.

Georgetown “Jack the Bulldog” vs. Ohio “Rufus the Bobcat”

Jack does get bonus points for having his own Wikipedia page (get on that, Ohio!), as well as having an actual dog counterpart that is freakin’ adorable. Still, bobcats are capable of taking down deer, so I think poor Jack loses this round.

Oklahoma State “Pistol Pete” vs. Georgia Tech “Buzz the Bee”

This matchup actually caused the most debate among the panel. I maintained that since Pete’s greatest strength is his sharpshooting, Buzz has the advantage of agility and size and could easily avoid Pete’s bullets. Still, panelist John pointed out that Buzz’s only weapon was his stinger, and using that would be suicide, so he would be unlikely to strike. The match would either win in a draw, or with Buzz dying while Pete had a slight bruise (provided he isn’t one of the 2% of people allergic to bee stings). Pete takes this round. (Real life Pistol Pete, by the way, is pretty awesome.)

Ohio State “Brutus Buckeye” vs. UC Santa Barbara “Goucho“

I wasn’t sure what a Goucho was until I Wikipedia’ed it (can that be a verb now? No? Fair enough.), but one glance at their logo made me think they were warlocks from World of Warcraft, and Buckeye was about to get his soul sucked out of him. In fact, “the word gaucho could be described as a loose equivalent to the North American ’cowboy’.” Brutus, on the other hand, is a buckeye nut. I’d say that a Goucho could easily win this one, but Brutus isn’t just a single nut lying on the ground. He’s a sentient humanoid with a hard exterior shell, making him a lot harder to take down than the average person (or nut), and possibly even a super villan. I’m going to give this one to Ohio.

 

Lost Post

I wasn’t sure where else to post this, so I apologize for the break in your regularly scheduled Philly/beer-centric programing. If you don’t like Lost, then I suggest you instead click on this link to see a picture of Batman using a lightsaber to fight a shark. It is rather epic.

This post will be full of spoilers, by the way, so skip it if you aren’t up to date on the series.

My theory is this: way back in Season 3, there was an episode entitled “Flashes Before Your Eyes” where  Desmond experiences his “flashes” for the first time. The viewer is supposed to assume that these flashes are his past. This is the episode where we first meet Mrs. Hawking, who brings up the idea of the universe course-correcting itself. It’s also the episode where Desmond meets Charlie playing guitar on a street corner, which at the time I remember everyone being confused about because we had been led to believe that Desmond and Charlie didn’t meet until they were on the island. Later, when Charlie remembers playing on that street corner in “Greatest Hits” (right before he saves Nadia from the mugger), Desmond is nowhere to be found.

I think that Desmond had actually jumped not into the past, but into the alternate timeline that the viewer is seeing this season. I’m not sure why or how, but I think that’s going to be what the writers use to tie the two timelines together (as well as explain why he was on plane briefly before disappearing in this season’s premiere).

Thoughts?